The kindness of strangers

On Wednesday I flew from San Diego to Chicago. I was attending a conference in South Bend Indiana at Granger Community Church. I was looking forward to a few days on my own to read, and wander around this small town. The flight was uneventful, uncomfortably full, but uneventful. I was renting a car to drive to Granger. When I got to the rental counter I realized my current driver's license was no where to be found. Rental car company policy - can't rent without a license. All kinds of things are running through my head.....what do I do now? How do I get to the conference? Where in the world is my license? I am shaking and very frightened. The guy at the counter had no idea what to do with me. God did.....

Standing at the very next counter was a young lady who was also on her way to Granger. I asked her if she would mind giving me a ride. She graciously agreed. What an answer to prayer! Okay God, my plans have just gone out the window, what do you intend to teach me?

Over the next 2 hours I got to know Laura. Amazing person - works for Bethal Bible church in Tyler; is on Twitter, Facebook and has a blog. She dropped me off at my hotel and told me to call her if I needed a ride in the AM.

Checked into the hotel. No shuttle, but the church is only a mile away. I can walk or take a cab. Only one last hurdle to overcome - how to get home? Laura was only staying until Saturday. I am staying until Sunday.
Needless to say, my first night here was rough. I slept terrible for several reasons - time change being one of them, another being the fact that my best laid plans are now completely out of my control - I HATE feeling dependant on others, and stressing out on how to get back to Ohare. Somewhere around 4 AM I remember that in Granger's welcome packet there was information on transportation. I thought I recalled something about bus service from the regional hotel to Ohare.

In my quiet time this morning, God revealed to me that I need to hold His hand and trust. Oh boy, must be some lesson I need to learn!

This morning I went to the Guest Services counter and asked for a copy of the welcome packet. As I waited for a volunteer to obtain a copy for me I was explaining to another volunteer,Lisa, my situation. She commented that the bus from the regional airport to Ohare was very nice, ran every day, throughout the day, and was reasonably priced.

Just before the start of the first session, another volunteer, Lori, from Guest Services found me. She had been told by the Lisa about my situation. Lori handed me a copy of the bus schedule and ticket prices. She even offered to find me someone staying at my hotel to give me rides to/from the conference.

I am wowed, all this help from complete strangers, and they are so sincere about it, I don't feel like a burden. This group of volunteers removed what was distracting me and I was able to thoroughly enjoy the conference. I was also able to learn a bit more about myself today.

When I travel to conferences without Ken, I look forward to the alone time. As an introvert, I LOVE and NEED this to recharge. Having to rely on others for the past few days, caused me to step WAY out of my comfort zone. But in doing so, I realized how much I needed to be ministered to. Although I thought I needed to be alone, God realized I needed others to recharge me by giving and by me receiving.
I also wonder what is happening to me.....In years past, when I would attend a conference, alone, I would never talk to anyone, would not engage in conversation if we had to sit at tables, would find a way to eat alone because it was too uncomfortable. During the past two days, I have asked a total stranger for a ride, engaged in conversation at the table, struck up conversations during lunch, asked questions on a tour of the facility and found a way to "serve" with the guest services team Saturday night. Who am I?
Now I will still have to deal with the dreaded DMV when I return, but the loss of my license has been such a wonderful learning experience. It was very cool to see God take a terrible, scary situation and grow me.

Posted in: on Thursday, June 25, 2009 at at 4:50 PM 3 comments  

Nascar and Leadership


Last week, I was in Phoenix for a long weekend of Nascar racing. Thursday night featured the Midget Series. This is grassroots racing; a place for future Nascar drivers to get experience. As I was listening to the driver's being announced, I noticed that several of these up-and-comers were owned and/or sponsored by several major players in Nascar. (Tony Stewart owns a two-car USAC team. )
Ummm, looks alot like a leadership concept I just finished reading about.....
A seasoned Nascar driver taking interest in young drivers. Giving them opportunities to gain experience, to be encouraged and supported, to possibly fail, and to use that failure to improve, knowing that there is always another race. Then the "young" driver moves up to the next level and continues the cycle by sponsoring and encouraging another new driver.
Nancy Beach writes in Unleashing the Power of Rubberbands that " the reason we are leaders is because we had people in our lives take the time to develop us". Humm looks alot like Nascar.....

Posted in: on Wednesday, November 12, 2008 at at 7:39 PM 0 comments  

Gifted to Lead Session 2

Session 2 was titled "Navigating Your Leadership World". It covered self awareness, communication and managing power. My notes are all over the place from this session - almost every bit of free space had something written on it.
Self awareness - I need to be clear on who God made me to be; know how I have been gifted and use these gifts wherever I am; embrace my uniqueness; become comfortable with my brokenness; understand who I am and who I am not which will make saying yes to the right things and no to the wrong things easier; carve out my own path.
Communication/Managing Power - Find my "voice" which is my style and it comes from my core beliefs - something Bill Hybel calls "Holy Discontent"; speak up and be heard; give myself permission to make mistakes (tough for a perfectionist) so that I don't hold myself back; know my conflict style (avoid at all costs) * need to work on this*; own and collaborate power to energize teams; my team needs my voice; be prepared, be spiritual but be real; . Nancy O. sums it up from her book this way - " a women leader must develop the muscle of talking back from an inner core of strongly held values and beliefs, and a willingness to face her fears and even harness her anger in order to communicate with clarity, logic and passion."
In this session Nancy O mentioned that we each needed to find a word that would motivate and inspire us, to keep us going when things got tough. Her word was "flourish", she posted this in her office next to the team's mission statement. I am still looking for my word.
Some phrases that I need to incorporate into my life in order to become a better leader - "I am sorry", "I made a mistake", "I dropped the ball", "I need your help", and "I don't know, what do you think".
Things I will be working on - I will fight hard to be the leader God called me to be and remember that the heart of my leadership is God's vision and my gifts are from Him. I will try to better understand my brokenness, and I want to find "my word".

Posted in: on Monday, October 20, 2008 at at 6:41 PM 1 comments  

Gifted to Lead Session 1

On Monday, I had the opportunity to attend a conference at Willowcreek Community Church. This conference was "Gifted to Lead" featuring Nancy Beach and Nancy Ortberg. This was an interactive forum for women in leadership. (for us introverts interactive meant I had to talk to other people!) Session One was called "Growing up a Leader". Nancy B talked about her defining moments as a leader and obstacles she has had to overcome.

Some of my take-a-way notes:

* girls are labeled as "bossy" where boys are labeled as "assertive"

* I need to allow room for my gifts to be used

* I need to be better at receiving criticism in order to allow growth

* more than 50% of church attendees are women and we can't afford not to let them use their gifts.

The interactive part of this session I was to journal about and then share 2 of my defining moments and an obstacle I needed to overcome. One defining moment was to come from my childhood, and one from later in life.

My first defining moment was listening to my mom complain that growing up she only had two choices for a career - either become a teacher or a nurse. (she became a nurse) I thought this was odd, I didn't see or understand the reasoning behind why a woman couldn't be anything she wanted to be. I took this moment to decide I wasn't going to let gender decide what I was when I grew up. ( ironically I became a nurse too but I am in management) In my journalling I wondered if the reason my mom was so angry and critical of me was that she saw something in me that she wished she had??

My second defining moment occurred on a Friday evening after service was over. I had been serving as an usher for several months at the Friday Night service. (back when a crowded night had more than 65 attendees!) Rod asked to talk to me for a few minutes. Unfortunately, I can't recall his exact words, but he mentioned that although some churches felt women didn't belong in certain leadership positions, he felt that I had leadership potential, and would I consider leading the ushers. He went onto mention that he asked another to lead who was still thinking about it, and Rod felt that I might be better suited.

I left that night thinking why can't women lead? Women should be able to do anything they were gifted to do. I was also stunned that someone saw leadership qualities in me. I didn't consider myself a leader (although I was bossy as a child). I didn't jump at that opportunity to lead, but eventually I stepped up and have never looked back with regret.

At the end of session one I had the following insight- I need to bring out the leadership gifts of those I lead by finding tools to use during my meetings to learn about the gifts my direct reports have.

Stay tuned for insights from the other sessions!

Posted in: on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at at 8:05 PM 3 comments  

Chicago

This weekend I will be traveling to Chicago to attend a conference at Willowcreek. Although I have been to Willow/Chicago before, I have not had the opportunity to enjoy the city. My Google search has given me some info on the city - largest city by population Illinois; its a center of finance, industry and culture. I will have an afternoon to be a tourist and have been asking friends, family and coworkers what they suggest I go see/do.
Most common answers:
1. Retail Therapy on Michigan Ave.
2. Museums
3. Navy Pier
4. Exhibition Park
Suggestions are welcome!

Posted in: on Tuesday, October 7, 2008 at at 7:08 PM 1 comments  

Being a Woman in Leadership

I am currently reading Gifted to Lead by Nancy Beach. I wanted to read this before attending her conference on Monday in Chicago. Normally I like to finish the book, then blog about it; however I was struck by the chapter on finding your leadership style and voice, and needed to mull it over. Since the Summit I have been wrestling with the direction LIT should be going. The points Nancy made about leadership style and voice got me thinking that I need to work on defining my style. Nancy mentioned that during an interview it was pointed out to her that she had different communication styles based on the audience. Thinking about my voice and style I realized that I have different styles depending upon whether I am at work or church.

It was much easier to define my leadership style and voice in my paying leadership job, then my volunteer leadership job. In my paying job, I have a job description, as do my direct reports. Expectations are very clear and there is daily feedback as well as an annual review. My direct reports know that I would never ask them to do something I am not willing to do myself (Bill Hybels refers to this concept as "Speed of the Leader, Speed of the Team) ; they know that I will stand by their decisions and support them if they acted with the best intentions for the patient; I know just enough about their personal lives so they know I care, but not so much involved that I can't council them on an area that needs improvement; I never eat lunch with them in order to give them a space to be themselves with their coworkers/friends; I allow them flexibility with their schedules and they in turn give extra when necessary; we have affectionate nicknames for each other and an environment that is fun despite the serious nature of medicine; they know very well that if expectations are not met, there are consequences.

I have been able to develop this style by trial and error, as well as great mentoring from an awesome manager. Nancy puts it this way - I learned what it meant to be myself and be willing to express myself authentically.

Although I have been volunteering for about the same amount of time as I have been in my paying job, I feel my volunteer style/voice is not quite as defined. I see now, after reading some of Nancy's book, that I followed what my predecessors did, rather than forge my own path as the leader of LIT. Nancy suggests listening to my life and listening to God and blending those to create my style.
I am sure my fellow leaders will be gracious enough over the next few months as I "trial and error" some new ways of doing things!




Posted in: on Saturday, October 4, 2008 at at 2:42 PM 0 comments  

Significance Through Difference - Being Salt


This weekend, our Ministry and Discipleship pastor - Todd Tolson - gave the message on being significant through difference. He used packets of salt to make his point that making a difference in my world is what Jesus called "being salt".

What impacted me the most were Todd's comments about difference makers pour themselves into what matters most; salt does not exist for itself, what do you do if salt looses its flavor and live life a little scared.

If I existed just for myself, I would be wasting the life God created me to have. I enjoy pouring myself into my areas of passion - The Leadership Summit and The Lasting Impression Teams. Knowing the impact that a team member can make on a guest, or how the Summit can impact a life is a scary responsibility. That responsibility keeps me on my toes! However, pouring myself into something, even something that I am very passionate about can have consequences. Pouring myself into ministry without taking time to refresh and minister to my needs I could actually loose my "salt", my flavor. Todd asked "how can you refresh salt if it looses it's flavor?" I guess you can't actually re-salt, salt. However, I would say for me, when I start to feel burned out or unsalty, I find things that refresh me, or fill my bucket. Once refreshed, I can pour myself back into what matters most and make a difference - a Lasting Impression!

Posted in: on Monday, August 25, 2008 at at 6:21 AM 0 comments  

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